Listening

By Pete Liska https://www.linkedin.com/in/peteliska/

What is the difference between not really listening and listening with intention?  During my coaching certification as part of my homework, I experimented during a conversation with both utilizing and not utilizing listening skills and this blog is about what happened.

This past evening I was talking with my friend Beth and she was asking me some questions.  I really wasn’t listening or listening well.  She must have said her statement or even asked me a question three or four times.  I really wasn’t sure what she said or even asked and I was even looking right at her.  She was getting either frustrated or agitated or some of both.  I started to listen a little, and still wasn’t completely intentionally listening.  I finally listened to hear what she was saying.  By this time, she was frustrated; she did make a point and we agreed to talk about it more later in day.

If I intentionally listened from the beginning, Beth wouldn’t have gotten frustrated, we would have been able to complete the conversation at that time, and I could have answered her question.  Instead of planning to come back to it after calming down, we could have gone on to something else. Have you ever noticed yourself doing this? Would intentional listening have helped you?

Being able to communicate in an intentional way in the present moment helps in all conversations.  During coach training we learn the process for coaching sessions and we learn intentional listening.  This means we take the time to listen to the words and actual conversation with our client.