by Michael Zaytsev
Successful romantic relationships require a high quality of effective communication. Sensing attraction, building trust, asking for a date, initiating intimacy, and other parts of the dating process rely on various communication skills. To master the art of relationships with others, first ensure a healthy relationship with self. Coaching is a great instrument in developing that relationship.
The coaching process is effective in improving dating results because it simultaneously develops communication skills, builds confidence, supports vulnerability, and helps a client better understand his or her own version of dating success.
Any significant human endeavor, from running a marathon to composing a beautiful symphony, is the result of learning and action. The same way athletes work out and train their muscles, humans can systematically train and improve their communication skills. Dating is a partner activity, so the ability to effectively communicate with another person is important to develop.
When asked what qualities people find attractive in potential mates, confidence is one of the most popular answers. Confidence is sexy. What is behind this perception?
Confidence is communicated by those who know their values and act with integrity towards them. It seems like the ultimate paradox: the essence of confidence is vulnerability. Communicating a truth about one’s self and opening up to another person gives them permission to express their truth as well.
Prepare clients to open up to someone else by first supporting them to open up to themselves. Invite them to be honest and open about what motivates them, what they desire, and what they want. By acknowledging these desires and their worthiness to have them, you empower them to take the courageous action to attain them.
Coaching provides a structure to clarify personal values, improve communication of those values, and encourages actions that drive results.
Read the Coaching for Dating Success chapter in Coaching Perspectives V for more.