Cathy Liska
(from Coaching Perspectives V – 6 of 11)
Move now to the personal lives of the brothers and reflect on how their thoughts over time influence their feelings and behaviors now. Brendan was a popular party guy with lots of girlfriends. Kevin was the stable one with a solid marriage and a nice group of friends. Brendan shied away from commitment because he focused on short-term gratification and playing hard. Kevin thought about the positive side and was happy so he felt good about his life.
Brendan’s friends said, “Ah let’s just forget work and go have a good time.” The girls he dated asked, “What is your hang-up with commitment?” Brendan thought to himself, “Yeah, I’m just having a good time. Why settle down? I have my freedom instead.” When Brendan got the flu, he stayed home alone. Overall Brendan felt restless.
Kevin’s friends commented on his marriage saying, “You are really a lucky guy.” His wife told him, “I am glad you are in my life.” Kevin thought to himself, “I am very fortunate.” Then Kevin was diagnosed with cancer. People said to him, “Wow, I guess the good do die young.” Kevin chose to stay with his positive focus and said to himself, “I have lots of support.” He talked openly with his wife about the diagnosis. His friends helped him research treatments. Kevin’s doctor answered his questions and worked with him on the treatment plan. Kevin’s friends helped him and his wife through the process. Kevin is now cancer free and feels the whole experience was a blessing because he is stronger. Kevin learned to be aware of his priorities and learned how much his friends really cared.
Coaching Notes
Focus on opportunities, possibilities, and the positive, proactive approach to making it happen. Consider that Return on Investment or ROI studies on coaching often cite qualitative benefits that include improved relationships and increased confidence. In each coaching session use language that reinforces the positive with confidence. For example instead of saying, “What might you do?” ask, “What will you do?”
Hints for Your Research: Harvard Business Review provides research that instead of success providing happiness, happiness creates success. A number of studies look at the benefits of positivity on health and wellness. Ultimately, being positive improves opportunities.
