Silence

Silence is an important tool in conversations generally and in coaching it is essential.

Think about it this way: how often have you asked a question and then been uncomfortable with the silence while waiting for an answer?  The natural tendency is to then jump in and fill that silence by further explaining the question or giving possible answers.  Explaining the question is unnecessary and actually indicates that perhaps the person asked is unable to figure it out for them self.  Giving possible answers negates asking a question in the first place.

Alternatively, consider the other side: how often have you wanted to say something or answer a question and been unable to either because there was no silence to jump in on or because before you could answer a question more was being said?  Chances are you lost track of what you did want to say or simply gave up on saying anything.

Consider who is uncomfortable with the silence – the person asking or the person thinking about the question and their answer?  Bottom line: ask and be silent because this is respectful.  It gives the person asked an opportunity to respond.

Approximately 70% of the time people will think inside their head first and approximately 30% of the time people will think out loud.  What does this mean?  Most often silence is important and powerful because it provides the space for people to think and respond effectively.